Phonetic Riff Transcription System

Let's face it - the riff is in terminal decline. The 70s, 80s and 90s were all generously served by the bespangled riff gods - but today's bands seem to think that designing a riff is as simple as following one chord by another. Like most of the world's problems, this is mainly U2's fault. What's the matter, 'The Edge'? Your distortion pedal broken or something? Badass nickname, by the way. (I sincerely apologise for just having alienated the entire Noonan family with that comment.)

One of the main problems with riffage is the lack of an objective method of comparison. Fact: the best bands have the best riffs. So, it shouldn't be too difficult to come up with a notation system that allows you, the consumer, to evaluate riffs on the page. This will allow you to make an intelligent and informed purchase: i.e. to choose the albums with the awesomest collection of riffs.

Fortunately, I devised just such a system while on the train today. My system has an advantage over guitar tabulature: it requires absolutely no musical knowledge to understand. In fact, the less musical knowledge you have, the better.

What follows is a transcript of ten of my favourite riffs, using my patented 'Phonetoriff' system (patent pending).

1. Black Sabbath, Paranoid

Intro:
Bow, wow, wow, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
Bow, wow, wow, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!

Main riff:
GUG-gug-gug-gug-GUG-gug-gug-gug
GUG-gug-gug-gug-GUG-gug-gug-gug
GOG-gog-gog-gog-GOG-gog-gog-gog ba-ba, BA. (ba!)

2. AC/DC, Back in Black

Ba. Ba-da-da. Ba-da-da.... Be-do-be-do-be-do-be
Ba. Ba-da-da. Ba-da-da. Bompow, bompow, bompow, bompow,
Ba.

3. Rolling Stones, Jumpin' Jack Flash

Intro:
Nung, nung, nung; ving, ving;
Nung, nung, nung, ningningning ning, ning;
Nung, nung, nung, ving, vinggggg;
Nung, nung, nung, ningningning ning, ning
Nununung.
Nununung.
Nununung.
Nununung.

(Jagger: Onetwo!)

Main riff:
BAAMP BAAMP, ba-na-na, ba-na-na, banana
BAAMP BAAMP, ba-na-na, ba-na-na, banana...

4. Metallica, Bridge from 'One'

Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah.
DubodabudobaDAH-NAAA, DubodabudobaDAH-NAAA, DubodabudobaDAH-NAAA, DubodabudobaDAH-NAAA,
Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah. Dubodabudobadah.

5. Jimi Hendrix, Voodoo Chile

Intro:
Wuk-o-wuk-o-wuk-o-wukka-wukowuk-a!
A wuk-wuk-wok-owuk-o-wuk-wuk-wukko!
Wuk-wuk-WUK-o-wuk-a-wuk-wuk, ah!
A-wuk-o-wuk-o-wuk-o-wuk-o-wuk-wuk-

Main riff:
Beowwm, ba deoww-deoww bamp-wamp wanna-wanna
Beowwm, ba deoww-deoww wanna. (Wicka)
Beowwm, wa deoww-beoww bamp-wamp wanna-wanna
Beoww, wa beoww-deoww wanna (badoom-chish)
Beowwm, ba deoww-deoww bamp-wamp wanna-wanna
Beowwm, ba deoww-deoww wanna.
Beowwm, wa deoww-beoww bamp-wamp wanna-wanna
Beoww, wa beoww-deoww deeeuuw deeeeuuw dreuuuuw woo...

6. Soundgarden, My Wave

Rababa.
Rababa.
Rababa-screee!
Rababa-screee!
Rababa-screee!
Ranana BA.
Ba, ba, da-wa-na
BA. Bap, bap, da-wa-na
BA. Bap, bap, da-wa-na
BA. Bap, bap, da-wa-na...

7. ZZ Top, Tush

Vam-va dumva-dumva, va damva dumv-aaaa,
Vam-va dumva-dumva, va damva dumv-aaaa,
Vam-va dumva-dumva, va damva dumv-aaaa,
Vam-va dumva-dumva, va damva dumv-aaaa....

8. Guns n' Roses, Paradise City

DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-aaaaaaaa,
DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-a-dug-a-DUG-aaaaaaaa...

I am also developing my patented bassline transcription system. Here are 2 prototypical examples:

9. Pink Floyd, Money

Bom, BOM-be-dom, bom pom bom pommmmmmm
Bom, BOM be-dom, bom pom bom pommmmmmm
Bom, BOM-be-dom, bom pom bom pommmmmmm
Bom, BOM be-dom, bom pom bom pommmmmmm
[Guitar in]: Waaab-waaaaba!

10. Curtis Mayfield, Superfly

Dommmmdo-do dom dom,
Dommmmdo-do dom-dom,
Dommmmdo-do dom-dom,
Dom.... DOM!...DUM!

If anyone would like to use my system to transcribe their favourite riff, they are most welcome. Royalties will be waived during the 30-day evaluation period.